- Air Date: 12/05/2012
- Directed By: Michael Lehmann
- Starring: Zachary Quinto, Sarah Paulson, Lizzie Brocheré, James Cromwell, Jessica Lange, Evan Peters
- Guest Stars: Ian McShane
It’s Christmas at Briarcliff! In this episode we’re treated to what I imagine Christmas is like in the Cenobite realm, but this is American Horror Story so we’ve got the all-around awesome Ian McShane thrown in as well for good measure. Starting off in 1962 we get McShane right off the bat icing a Salvation Army type Santa, donning his outfit and committing a series of heinous crimes that night. One of the worst crimes being stealing James Bond’s pun about Christmas only coming once a year from The World is not Enough.
We catch up with Briarcliff in 1964, housing Ian McShane in solitary confinement and Sister Mary Eunice decides it’s time to celebrate the season by trimming the tree with inmate’s hair, teeth and other various medical instruments. Sister Jude returns to Briarcliff to kill the demon in Sister Mary Eunice but as the demon points out, there’s no way to really kill it, just to free Mary Eunice. The demon part of her starts flinging around objects, Dr. Arden storms in and Sister Jude is escorted off the premises. Then, as a token of his esteem (I guess), Arden offers Sister Mary Eunice some Nazi gold, which is the most evilest of golds, so naturally the demon is very happy and Dr. Arden looks more put out that Sister Mary Eunice is no longer pure.
Monsignor Timothy graces the show and acts holier-than-thou, spouting bit and pieces about how wonderful Sister Mary Eunice is and waltzes out of there. I maintain that this guy is going to have to play a much larger role coming up, that’s a lot of swaning in and out of scenes for a recognizable actor. Security Guy Frank threatens Dr. Arden with exposing Briarcliff to the authorities since he feels mounting guilt about shooting Grace last week. Dr. Arden goes to visit Sister Jude and says he wants to help stop the evil in Mary Eunice but evil is a productive force so Sister Mary Eunice has let Ian McShane out of his cell and is letting him play Santa to all the inmates. Ian McShane being Ian McShane attacks Security Guy Frank and winds up in solitary again. But this time Sister Mary Eunice slashes Frank’s throat and frees Ian McShane encouraging him to go on a rampage starting with Sister Jude.
What these guys don’t realize is that Sister Jude is played by Jessica Lange and no one messes with Jessica Lange. While Ian McShane is attacking Sister Jude, Dr. Arden reveals he was playing both sides of the dueling nuns and confirms his allegiance to Sister Mary Eunice, for now. Meanwhile, Sister Jude gets the upper hand in the struggle and uses it to stab Ian McShane in the neck with some kind of desk toy, Sister Jude is quietly thankful for that one year she got a stocking full of desk tchotchkes.
Elsewhere Lana is in a bed next to Kit. Lana tells Kit that she knows Thredson is the real Bloody Face killer and she has proof. But Thredson shows up and tells Lana he’s removed all traces of Bloody Face from his home. Then Kit surprises Thredson by knocking him up. (which I guess is always a surprised to be knocked out) They throw him in a room no one uses and start building him some kind of fort made out of pillows and mattresses. So… sleepover?
