- Running Time: 95 minutes
- Directed By: Jordan Downey
- Starring: Jordan Downey, Daniel Usaj, Kevin Stewart, Joe Hartzler, Marc M, Bridge Stuart, Mike Litzenberg, Preston Altree, Ben Siemon
THANKSKILLING 3 opens on a pair of boobs floating in space (yes, they’re attached to a woman astronaut, but in this movie, you wouldn’t be surprised otherwise, which are then blasted to smithereens by Turkie, the “fowl-mouthed” villain with purposefully bad special FX.
This is the opening to THANKSKILLING 2, a sequel that Jordan Downey and company have conveniently skipped, and used as the plot point for the threequel. It’s a shame that the best part about this movie is that they intentionally skipped a second movie to do a third one, but it’s true. I could make a joke about them wishing they had skipped this movie as well, but that’s too easy (and I’ll also bypass any comparisons to the film as a turkey). If you find the prospect of a worm named Rhonda that looks like a penis on the shoulder of a cyborg named M.U.F.F. (with predictable results), then you will love this movie.
You can’t fault these guys for ingenuity or (whatever it is you want to call it) as you can find puppets, muppets, CGI, animation, and glorious 8-bit all sharing the screen with a couple few and far between live-action characters. This playful nature is the best part of the film, and the only real redeeming quality. It’s THE MUPPETS meets misogyny meets dick and fart jokes (or worse). We open on Yomi, an orange muppet who loses her mind. Literally. Her brain floats out of her head in some weird dream sequence. Yomi wakes up in a garbage can, with Greg Garbage, Meowmir, and all sorts of stuff happening around her, including the last copy of THANKSKILLING 2 on DVD falling into her lap. This is precisely what Turkie wants.
Turkie finds out that the sequel to the first THANKSKILLING tanked, that it was one of the worst movies ever and every copy save one has been destroyed, and responds by chopping Mrs. Turkey in half and going off to recover the film. His son Nibla follows but isn’t long for this world, as Turkie kills him too, though his soul is sent to find the DVD, and ends up inhabiting it. Following so far?
Yomi meets Uncle Donny, the creator and salesman of the Pluckmaster 3000, which can cook, pluck, and stuff a turkey in 30 seconds, giving you “peace of mind” around the holidays, a clue to the whereabouts of Yomi’s lost mind. The wig-wearing Uncle Donny (Daniel Usaj), along with Jefferson (Joe Hartzler), are the only two live actors in the film, and Yomi hitches her wagon to them, in hopes of recovering her mind. Of course, Turkie will have something to say about that, as Yomi possesses the final DVD of TK2 on the planet. All the while, M.U.F.F. and Rhonda (the bisexual alien Earthworm) are also out to thwart Turkie. Along the way there’s a rapping, handicapped grandmother with a proclivity for oral sex named Flowis, a WiseTurkey, a FrankenTurkey, skeleturkeys galore, a FeatherWorld, and a Turkey Hell; there’s no shortage of wild characters and settings in THANKSKILLING 3.
If you take any of this seriously, you’re lost, but even if you don’t, your likely to groan at the Thanksgiving puns (although these are my favorite parts), wince at the language (swearing and lewd behavior is not funny purely on principle), and wonder how many drugs were ingested during the production of this flick. It makes me feel like an old, boring Stiffly Stifferson for not liking it, but the film is stupid, unfunny, and so esoteric that it loses the impact of being so bizarre for about 90% of the 95 minute run time. There are those that will love this movie. If you’re drunk or high, and with a bunch of friends, there are certainly far worse things to watch.
