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Home » Movie Review: The Revenant
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Movie Review: The Revenant

FM ContributorBy FM ContributorApril 20, 2016No Comments5 Mins Read
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The Revenant
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THE REVENANT has been kicking around for a while (IMDB lists it as a 2009 film), running the festival circuit and refusing to die like its main character. That journey ends today, as it finally earns a limited release in a few select cities, as well as being made available on video on demand. If you want to know whether you should spend the money to see it, should you have the chance, the answer is an unequivocal yes.

In this new age where we’re flooded by zombies, vampires and werewolves (oh my!) in every pop culture outlet possible, it takes a unique and cunning vision to make one of so many stand out. And Kerry Prior, a special FX wizard on such varied films from THE LOST BOYS to AIR FORCE ONE to THE BLOB and PHANTASM, has that in spades. THE REVENANT has balls, and goes further than you ever think it will. It not only takes one step closer to the cliff, it jumps off of it even after you yell for it to stop.

It all starts in Iraq. Don’t groan, were not there for very long. Amongst a pair of bickering soldiers, the driver, Bart (the great TV character actor of ALIAS fame, David Anders, getting a long awaited chance to play leading man/zombie) decides to do away with protocol, revving the engine and letting it rip through the sands of the Middle East. This predictably doesn’t go well, as he runs over a child who appears in the middle of the road. Uh oh. The soldiers tell him to drive away, move on. Bart gets out to investigate, just like the stereotypical victim would in a slasher film. But THE REVENANT likes to play with your expectations. The kid is still alive, maybe it’s undead? Maybe this is the invasion; maybe this is how it starts? Wrong. A bunch of bullets rain down on Bart, including one to the noggin, and we’re one fade to black away from his funeral in LA, with his friends and family sobbing.

One such friend is Joey (Chris Wylde, a more vulgar, zanier, stoner-y version of Steve Little’s Stevie from EASTBOUND & DOWN), a sad sack slacker depressed by his best friend’s death. Another such friend is Janet (Louise Griffiths), Bart’s girlfriend who wanted to marry him. Instead of committing to her, Bart went off to war. She doesn’t really get it, even when things get nutty. She’s drunk, downtrodden and alone, and Joey is there, and the two predictably kiss, and presumably, do more stuff.

This is when Bart begins to rise, to kick himself out of his coffin. From the way he walks and acts, it’s clear Bart is not your typical zombie. He ambles to a mirror, and we see Bart, in full zombie make up, his eyes blank and sickly, his lips stapled together from the mortician. Then he rips the staples out and begins talking, normally (albeit a tad exasperated), and clearly conscious of his own life and memories.

Bart goes to his buddy Joey, who’s understandably in shock over the visitation of his dead friend. Joey wields a bat threateningly during the entire conversation, a hilarious send up of practically every zombie movie ever made. It takes Joey awhile to realize that he’s not in danger, that Bart doesn’t want to eat his flesh, so he tries to feed his friend, with disgusting results that find themselves on his carpet. He drives Bart off to the hospital for a not-so-routine check up that ends as you might expect, and we’re left to wonder where this movie will go. But it’s best not to worry and just go for the ride. From this point on, THE REVENANT soars.

When the sun comes up, Bart “dies” again, and Joey is left to pick up the pieces. He calls on Mathilda (Jacy King), another friend we met at the funeral, who’s also a practicing nurse, who also happens to be Wiccan. She urges Joey to cut off his head and stake him, to kill him for good, before it gets bad, and we all know that Joey can’t do that to his best friend, but will ultimately regret it. But, not in the way you’d think.

When Bart wakes up again that night, THE REVENANT turns into one of the wackiest, unpredictable, hilarious buddy movies you’ll ever see, with the pair becoming vigilantes (a zombie superhero!) out to secure blood to sate Bart’s thirst and prevent further decomposition. Along the way, Janet returns as a bewilderingly loyal girlfriend to a guy who smells like the dregs of the Earth, we get social commentary on latinos, blacks, and “gringos” in LA, with the backdrop being a joke at how unsafe LA really is, and a movie that goes places you’ve always wanted to see movies go, or didn’t want to go. You’ll find yourselves guessing the worst possible outcome, or the thing that normally wouldn’t happen, and see exactly that in such a flippant cavalier way that’s equal parts exhilarating and off-putting.

Alas, like Bart himself, the joke and the concept last a little bit longer than it should. Bart won’t go away, he won’t die, and as the pair sink deeper and deeper into their blood seeking endeavors, it’s as if the movie refuses to take a logical exit. It doesn’t really seem like Prior and company know where to take it. Then you realize that may be exactly what they wanted. That, like “the revenant,” this movie is going to thumb its nose at cinematic norms and going to go on for far too long, jump the shark, fake you out at any chance it gets, and finally, mercifully, end full circle, and leaving the audience saying: “That was fun, but…what the %^@$?”

Movie Review: “The Revenant”

August 24, 2012 By Andy Greene

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